I am feeling them all around me right now at the changes that I am making. I have to admit I have questioned myself a million times wondering if this night job is what I should do. But the reality is - I think I am willing to make whatever sacrifice is needed to help provide for my family. As I just sat and plugged in my scheduled nights for the month, all my appointments and the kids schedules. It has worked out perfect. Just another way of my Heavenly Father saying it is going to be okay. Just another way of him saying you are that much closer to getting on a plane to go visit my girl or to be able fly her home and financially be able to help her afford to take a week off. My heart aches for her because I miss her so much. Imagine being a mom and going an entire year without seeing one of your kids. I know I wont see Dylan for 2 years. Somehow a mission is so much different. I just want her to come home . . . if even for a day. And now we are on a road to more stable incomes and hopefully positive changes for our family. Don't get me wrong . . . I am not seeking riches or fancy cars. I just want enough to take care of the needs of my big ole' growing family.
Tonight is my first night shift and I have only had 4 hours of sleep so I am sitting at the computer for about 30 minutes in an attempt to get tired and take a 3 hour nap. I am excited. I am scared. But most of all I am eager and hoping that maybe in what I do I will be able to make a difference in a little ones quality of life. I am not sure if I told you but I will be on the Oncology floor. It is full of little kids that are much braver than I. I am excited that I will get to be their friend and maybe learn some of the simple lessons that life has taught them.
Good Night my friends - hope this works !!!